From The Horse's Mouth - Mark Van Deventer

The drama and valor of racing horses at speed around a track, and betting on them, lends itself to rich archive of pithy quotes.

Here are some to enliven our spirits:

"Faster, Faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." ~ Hunter S. Thompson

"The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip." ~ Henny Youngman

There are obvious similarities between motor and horse racing...

"To achieve anything in this game you must be prepare to dabble in the boundary of disaster." ~ Stirling Moss

"Race cars are neither beautiful nor ugly. They become beautiful when they win." ~ Enzo Ferrari

And wise counsel from a legendary racing driver - "It is not always possible to be the best, but it is always possible to improve your own performance." ~ Jackie Stewart

Here’s some clear imagery from straight talking trainer, Jenny Pitman, "If you want to understand the effect of weight on a horse, try running for a bus with nothing in your hands. Then try doing it with your hands full of shopping. Then think about doing that for four and a half miles." ~ Jenny Pitman

And some unattributed quotes gleaned from Australian betting folk lore:

“When you go to the track don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see."

“I’m not broke, but I’m very badly bent.” 

American poker players will talk about “going on tilt during chaotic losing runs, whilst an Ozzie horseplayer, particularly erratic in his staking was described as “...steady as a feather in a hurricane.”

We can all sympathize with this wry witticism, called upon after a desperately bad day on the punt. ”I’m eating the dates of the calendar [till payday]”

Never a truer word spoken in jest - “An ounce of luck is worth a ton of judgement.”

Or this evocative description that many jockeys and long-suffering punters can relate to, "that rider found himself in more trouble than a one-armed taxi driver with an itchy leg."

“The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business." ~ famous author, John Steinbeck noted.

One of my all-time favourite racing scribes was the louche but highly literate, “dronkie”, Jeffrey Bernard. 

Recalling the glory days of socializing in crowded grandstands, he said, “I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight, and the copyright to a dying jockey's life story.”

He spent plenty of time totally down and out, or at least sufficiently unwell to put forth a column yet gamely claimed, “I don't regret the mistakes I've made; they've made me who I am today.”

To end on an upbeat, liberating note from Bernard – “Life is a dance, and the best part is that you get to choose the music.”

Wishing good health and punting to all fellow Interbettors…